Monday, April 11, 2011

Anniversary of the heart

On this day nine years ago I was sleeping in a rocking chair in the Pediatric ICU floor of OKC Childrens Hospital with a thin blanket a nurse threw over my sometime during the night. Winston our 7 month old baby had just had open heart surgery that morning and I wasn't going to the parent hotel. Nope, I was staying all night even though some very nice friends and family donated the money for Christy and I to have a place to stay in the hospital. This whole thing was totally out of my hands but the one thing I could do is be there!

Tonight just for a little while those feeling welled up inside of me as I went in for one last bed check on my not so little boy. He's perfectly healthy for now. But I just couldn't help rub my fingers up and down the scar he sports down the entire length of his chest one last time before I pulled his covers up. I do that often when he's awake running around the house shirtless and he always asks, "Daddy why do you like to rub my scar?" and I've never really told him that , "Son, it's my reminder that I'm not in control but He is and I'm okay with that."

Maybe tomorrow I'll tell him or maybe I'll wait till he needs the wisdom like I did. Either way I thank you Lord for the 9 years you have to let me have with my son.